Hot dogs. I stopped eating hot dogs a couple years ago when I began avoiding processed foods in favor of homemade and natural. Then earlier this week, as I was on a walk, I smelled hot dogs cooking on a grill. This being summer, I couldn't resist and went out and bought a package. Tonight, we are having them again (they are natural, if that makes it any better!).
And we're roasting S'mores afterward.
I was wondering why hot dogs twice in one week, and the only thing I can think of is memories. Memories of a simpler time. Of innocence and joy, with not a care in the world.
That's not to say as a child I had it super easy (nor is that to say I had it harder than most... I didn't; these things are naturally relative to our own experiences), but there was a large part of my life spent in pure happiness.
Camping is one thing which comes immediately to mind.
My grandparents would take me for two weeks every summer, from the time I was a toddler til I was 14 (I never understood why they stopped taking me that year. It was the one thing I looked forward to without fail every summer... anyway...). We would spend the days eating, swimming, boating, taking walks and sitting around the fire. But mostly we would simply enjoying the fresh air, nature, quiet, and each others' company. I have never been so at peace as I was those two weeks of every summer.
I miss it with every fiber of my being. Not just the camping (which is something we have not done with our kids in ten years), but the peace. The kind of peace that sinks into your very "soul"... where the world is a good place, where everything is in harmony.
It's been a long time since I've been there and I yearn for it.
Every generation has its own problems, but I really feel that our existence stands upon the edge of a knife. During no other time in the history of humanity have so many things been headed down the wrong path. I wish I could be that little girl again, walking with her grandfather on a wooded path, with nothing more pressing on her mind than whether she wanted to go swimming tomorrow or just sit under the trees and watch for chipmunks and blue jays.
A friend forwarded a movie preview to me today, and this line seemed to fit this blog perfectly: Everyday we see something that we grew up with our youth and is lost."
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Check!
I am such a chicken.
Everyone who knows me sooner or later learns, either directly or indirectly, that I'm an atheist. I've had a wide range of reactions... from people not really believing it because I'm "so nice," to people not caring and being totally cool with it, to being told they are atheist too (that's always interesting!), to losing a "friendship". Yet I rarely discuss the fact, nor do I often reference it directly or joke about it.
I was once rather outspoken, but time, age and experience have mellowed me.
Part of my close-lipped stance is out of respect for others. There is somehow a connection between being a vocal atheist and disrespecting others' beliefs. Like Dawkins, I think that religious belief has been afforded a kind of bubble of protection that doesn't apply to any other type of belief in the world, often to the detriment (and sometimes death, most especially in other countries) of unbelievers. I remain quiet because, as unjustified and dangerous as the bubble is/can be, I know the bubble is there and I respect that people don't wish it to pop.
And, part is out of fear. I have no wish to alienate myself, nor to cause misunderstandings. After all, like most other people on this planet, I was raised in a society which believes that atheists are lacking a certain something, be it hope, purpose, morality, or all the above and then some. Therefore, even though I know better (by being an atheist myself, by being married to an atheist, and by having raised one son who defines himself as such), I still get caught in the trap.
I feel that, with all of the preconceptions of what an atheist is, I will be seen in an unfavorable light if I speak occasionally about who I am and (more to the point), why I am who I am.
So, when I, for example, watch a really good video on YouTube about atheism, one that is so totally awesome that I can't help but shout at the computer "Yes! YES!"...well, I really feel like sharing but rarely do. It's nice when someone else out there gets it and, therefore, gets me; it makes me want to share with friends who might also enjoy a moment of "being gotten," and with those who might enjoy a clearer understanding of who I am and why. I suppose I must be brave enough to accept that whatever is learned about me might not be to some tastes.
So, after that lengthy explanation as to why I never post things about atheists/atheism.. but why I am about to anyway...
Presenting TheoreticalBullshit's God's Checklist.*
*I am one of TB's subscribers, and his video was on the main page last night before I went to bed, so I checked it out. Watched it three times. I must note that I do not, of course, think that this god TB speaks of even exists.. that it is not anger at nor rebellion against this god for his seeming inconsistencies, contradictions, and cruelties in the face of his supposed love for and benevolence toward his children that motivates me to "reject" him. Rather, these very inconsistencies and divine mood swings are simply a drop in the bucket of Why I Don't Think Any of it is Real in the First Place.
I know... big name. It's a really big bucket.
Everyone who knows me sooner or later learns, either directly or indirectly, that I'm an atheist. I've had a wide range of reactions... from people not really believing it because I'm "so nice," to people not caring and being totally cool with it, to being told they are atheist too (that's always interesting!), to losing a "friendship". Yet I rarely discuss the fact, nor do I often reference it directly or joke about it.
I was once rather outspoken, but time, age and experience have mellowed me.
Part of my close-lipped stance is out of respect for others. There is somehow a connection between being a vocal atheist and disrespecting others' beliefs. Like Dawkins, I think that religious belief has been afforded a kind of bubble of protection that doesn't apply to any other type of belief in the world, often to the detriment (and sometimes death, most especially in other countries) of unbelievers. I remain quiet because, as unjustified and dangerous as the bubble is/can be, I know the bubble is there and I respect that people don't wish it to pop.
And, part is out of fear. I have no wish to alienate myself, nor to cause misunderstandings. After all, like most other people on this planet, I was raised in a society which believes that atheists are lacking a certain something, be it hope, purpose, morality, or all the above and then some. Therefore, even though I know better (by being an atheist myself, by being married to an atheist, and by having raised one son who defines himself as such), I still get caught in the trap.
I feel that, with all of the preconceptions of what an atheist is, I will be seen in an unfavorable light if I speak occasionally about who I am and (more to the point), why I am who I am.
So, when I, for example, watch a really good video on YouTube about atheism, one that is so totally awesome that I can't help but shout at the computer "Yes! YES!"...well, I really feel like sharing but rarely do. It's nice when someone else out there gets it and, therefore, gets me; it makes me want to share with friends who might also enjoy a moment of "being gotten," and with those who might enjoy a clearer understanding of who I am and why. I suppose I must be brave enough to accept that whatever is learned about me might not be to some tastes.
So, after that lengthy explanation as to why I never post things about atheists/atheism.. but why I am about to anyway...
Presenting TheoreticalBullshit's God's Checklist.*
*I am one of TB's subscribers, and his video was on the main page last night before I went to bed, so I checked it out. Watched it three times. I must note that I do not, of course, think that this god TB speaks of even exists.. that it is not anger at nor rebellion against this god for his seeming inconsistencies, contradictions, and cruelties in the face of his supposed love for and benevolence toward his children that motivates me to "reject" him. Rather, these very inconsistencies and divine mood swings are simply a drop in the bucket of Why I Don't Think Any of it is Real in the First Place.
I know... big name. It's a really big bucket.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Without sinking too far into the void...
Without sinking too far into the Void (the Void being that dark, scary place that is made up of a mix of public opinion, paranoia, and the too-infrequent spark of rational thought), I have been trying to understand the reasons against health care reform and I just... don't.. understand.
I think what confuses me the most is the fear. What are people afraid of, really? Why is there not the same terror over things that actually might kill them, en masse... things like water shortages, food shortages, and a horde of other catastrophic results of the changing climate?
I'm all for dissent, but where was the dissent and outrage when we were about to embark on a war which some of us, even back then, said was ill-conceived? Sure, there were protests, but not this level of outrage and, might I suggest, media support for the opposition. Liberal media bias indeed.
Speaking of terror and fear.. why does it not exist over the future terrorists and America-haters that were created in Iraq, Afghanistan.. and other places surely to come?
No.. the thing we are afraid of most is...
heath care reform and a public option?
Seriously?
I just don't understand it.
The word "socialism" is tossed around with scorn and horror, whilst people happily drive along on their state-funded roads and send their kids to state-funded schools with state-mandated curricula, while their parents and grandparents enjoy the benefits of Social Security and Medicare, while their country is defended by soldiers who, along with their spouses, have their health care provided by taxes... for life.
Help me to understand the cognitive disconnect, please. I would like to know, I really would. I just can't stomach anymore Fux News style spin on this issue.
To illustrate the fear, aside from the obvious "death panels," silliness started by Palin, Bishop Harry Jackson suggests that in a universal health care scenario, he would not have survived his bout with cancer.
What?
It sounds as though he is suggesting that people in countries with government-run health care (England and Canada come to mind) are doomed to die of cancer should they be so unfortunate to become ill with it. Conversely, one could infer that he suggests that no one in this country, with our current health care system, has ever died of cancer.
But we all know, or should at least, that neither is true.
So, please.. I beg you tell me... what are people so afraid of???
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Community.. all warm and fuzzy
About a year ago, I wrote a blog entitled Where's the Connection Out There? in which I discussed the lack of community, of positive contact with fellow humans "out there."
One of my theories for our lack of connection is that we are nameless and faceless, which leads to my son's theory. He believes that we humans were never meant to live in such large "communities;" that, like our fellow apes, we are meant to live in pods large enough to protect one another and ensure genetic variation, but small enough to know one another.
I think he's on to something, certainly.
Today I went to the Farmer's Market at the mall. I've been longing to go to it since it began a month ago, but for reasons which I will explain shortly, it hadn't happened.
It's at 8:00 in the morning. On a Sunday. Yeah. Not being a morning person, I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed for this thing. But I had hopes that the market would be calm, peaceful, and not crowded like the one on Thursdays.
I rarely go to the one on Thursdays because there are so many people there, and most in a frenzy to get their produce. It's astonishing, really, how excited people get over an apple and a head of lettuce. People are in such a rush, and are in full Defense Mode, wary of anyone stealing their place in line or getting the better ear of corn. No thanks! That's way too much stress for me, so I avoid it if I can.
Today, I pull into the parking lot, and... ahhhh. Only a few cars. I get out, and am able to walk in a straight line, not having to veer to the side to avoid walking into anyone.
I chatted with a man selling tea, who gave me a nice sample. I bought some, chatted some more, and moved on.
The egg man was there. Love fresh eggs, so I went to his stall. As I made my purchase, he and I talked about reusing egg cartons (I have a huge stack I've been saving for him), about how far he had to travel to the market, and about how he hoped that a few more people would show up to this event so that it would be worth his while. I said I hoped that business would pick up a bit, but that I really loved the calm atmosphere. I wished him luck and moved on to the main reason I was there.
Fruit!
Peaches. Pluots. Plums. Nectarines. Grapes. Oh yeah. I love this vendor from Thursdays. (Unfortunately I can't provide a link since I don't know what farm they are from and I can't find them on the vendor list. But they are there every week. See video below.)
I and two other customers stood there and chatted and laughed with the vendor, snacking on slices of pluots and peaches. It was awesome. It was delicious.
It was that connection for which I yearn.
No crowds. No pushing and shoving. No fighting for space or resources. It seemed like excellent proof that my son has it right, at least partly. We were meant to have face to face contact in small numbers.. not this nameless, faceless, angry, defensive type of contact to which we have become so accustomed.
I hope that business there picks up just enough to keep it going, but stays small and friendly. Such a pleasant experience. :)
One of my theories for our lack of connection is that we are nameless and faceless, which leads to my son's theory. He believes that we humans were never meant to live in such large "communities;" that, like our fellow apes, we are meant to live in pods large enough to protect one another and ensure genetic variation, but small enough to know one another.
I think he's on to something, certainly.
Today I went to the Farmer's Market at the mall. I've been longing to go to it since it began a month ago, but for reasons which I will explain shortly, it hadn't happened.
It's at 8:00 in the morning. On a Sunday. Yeah. Not being a morning person, I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed for this thing. But I had hopes that the market would be calm, peaceful, and not crowded like the one on Thursdays.
I rarely go to the one on Thursdays because there are so many people there, and most in a frenzy to get their produce. It's astonishing, really, how excited people get over an apple and a head of lettuce. People are in such a rush, and are in full Defense Mode, wary of anyone stealing their place in line or getting the better ear of corn. No thanks! That's way too much stress for me, so I avoid it if I can.
Today, I pull into the parking lot, and... ahhhh. Only a few cars. I get out, and am able to walk in a straight line, not having to veer to the side to avoid walking into anyone.
I chatted with a man selling tea, who gave me a nice sample. I bought some, chatted some more, and moved on.
The egg man was there. Love fresh eggs, so I went to his stall. As I made my purchase, he and I talked about reusing egg cartons (I have a huge stack I've been saving for him), about how far he had to travel to the market, and about how he hoped that a few more people would show up to this event so that it would be worth his while. I said I hoped that business would pick up a bit, but that I really loved the calm atmosphere. I wished him luck and moved on to the main reason I was there.
Fruit!
Peaches. Pluots. Plums. Nectarines. Grapes. Oh yeah. I love this vendor from Thursdays. (Unfortunately I can't provide a link since I don't know what farm they are from and I can't find them on the vendor list. But they are there every week. See video below.)
I and two other customers stood there and chatted and laughed with the vendor, snacking on slices of pluots and peaches. It was awesome. It was delicious.
It was that connection for which I yearn.
No crowds. No pushing and shoving. No fighting for space or resources. It seemed like excellent proof that my son has it right, at least partly. We were meant to have face to face contact in small numbers.. not this nameless, faceless, angry, defensive type of contact to which we have become so accustomed.
I hope that business there picks up just enough to keep it going, but stays small and friendly. Such a pleasant experience. :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
Dare to (day)Dream
Sitting in my favorite eatery/coffee shop in Sand City today, I noticed a girl sitting with her dad, she on a pink kid's laptop, he on a grown up gray monotone one. She looked maybe 4 or 5. Homeschooled, perhaps, or just a preschooler. Hard to tell.
Anyway, she was adorable, working hard at something on her cute pink laptop.
After perhaps 20 minutes, she got up quietly, unzipped a similarly colored laptop case, into which she quietly put her laptop. Even zipped the bag back up. I was impressed at someone so young being so independent and thorough.
When she was done, she sat back down with her bottle of root beer, and looked around. I noticed her looking at me quite a bit, which I returned a few times with smiles. Meanwhile my two boys and I talked and joked and laughed and ate our pastries. I didn't fail to notice, however, that this little girl was very quiet and calm, rather content to just sit and observe the world around her, lost in her own thoughts.
Then, her dad noticed she'd stopped working on her laptop. He said something to the effect of, "You've decided to waste time?"
He then continued to harp and nag every minute or so, each time getting more frustrated at her "wasting time", at one point suggesting that her wasting time was in fact wasting his, and that next time he would leave her home.
Throughout, the girl sat holding her root beer, not saying a word, nor looking defiant or bored.
Eventually, he got into her bag, took out a math book, and had her do a page.
I must admit, I was rather annoyed on her behalf, and decided that when I had the chance today, I would blog about it (of course).
Even though my readership is 3, perhaps 4 people-strong, I am going to send a plea out into the void, on behalf of all my fellow daydreamers:
Parents and educators, please recognize the immense value in daydreams, in quiet contemplation, in stillness, in peaceful solitude, in "wasting" time. In my most humble (or at least humbly offered) opinion, these things are just as important to a child's education and upbringing as is learning the 3R's. In this always-connected, high-speed world, the skill of and value in solitude and just being have become a lost art, much to our loss as a society and as individuals. Newton spent nearly his whole life in solitude. Buddha, much of his time in quiet contemplation.
Where will our inventors and spiritual leaders be? Will they go unnoticed, their talents underdeveloped? I think so, especially considering that a good number of those children who veer off task are medicated to keep them focused.
We lose a great opportunity for invention and problem solving when we are made to view daydreaming and stillness as a waste of time, to say nothing about the loss of our ability to nurture our spiritual and emotional selves. So, dare to let them daydream. While they're at it, put up your feet and give it a try as well!
Anyway, she was adorable, working hard at something on her cute pink laptop.
After perhaps 20 minutes, she got up quietly, unzipped a similarly colored laptop case, into which she quietly put her laptop. Even zipped the bag back up. I was impressed at someone so young being so independent and thorough.
When she was done, she sat back down with her bottle of root beer, and looked around. I noticed her looking at me quite a bit, which I returned a few times with smiles. Meanwhile my two boys and I talked and joked and laughed and ate our pastries. I didn't fail to notice, however, that this little girl was very quiet and calm, rather content to just sit and observe the world around her, lost in her own thoughts.
Then, her dad noticed she'd stopped working on her laptop. He said something to the effect of, "You've decided to waste time?"
He then continued to harp and nag every minute or so, each time getting more frustrated at her "wasting time", at one point suggesting that her wasting time was in fact wasting his, and that next time he would leave her home.
Throughout, the girl sat holding her root beer, not saying a word, nor looking defiant or bored.
Eventually, he got into her bag, took out a math book, and had her do a page.
I must admit, I was rather annoyed on her behalf, and decided that when I had the chance today, I would blog about it (of course).
Even though my readership is 3, perhaps 4 people-strong, I am going to send a plea out into the void, on behalf of all my fellow daydreamers:
Parents and educators, please recognize the immense value in daydreams, in quiet contemplation, in stillness, in peaceful solitude, in "wasting" time. In my most humble (or at least humbly offered) opinion, these things are just as important to a child's education and upbringing as is learning the 3R's. In this always-connected, high-speed world, the skill of and value in solitude and just being have become a lost art, much to our loss as a society and as individuals. Newton spent nearly his whole life in solitude. Buddha, much of his time in quiet contemplation.
Where will our inventors and spiritual leaders be? Will they go unnoticed, their talents underdeveloped? I think so, especially considering that a good number of those children who veer off task are medicated to keep them focused.
We lose a great opportunity for invention and problem solving when we are made to view daydreaming and stillness as a waste of time, to say nothing about the loss of our ability to nurture our spiritual and emotional selves. So, dare to let them daydream. While they're at it, put up your feet and give it a try as well!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Why Wait?
The husband and I had a conversation last week about the environment, changes that need to be made, and the uncertainty of the future for all living creatures on this planet. He'd mentioned that we need to demand that the government does what's right.
While I agree that we should demand from our leaders that which will benefit us all and not just a handful of the wealthy and powerful, I also think that, as with health care, we must exercise control over ourselves.
You must be the change you want to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi
No one is forcing us to leave lights on, or to leave computers on, or to run water while washing dishes or brushing teeth, or to use a dryer, or to eat irresponsibly raised food, or to eat food products, or not buy locally, or not buy organic, or to drive large vehicles, or to drive at all, or to run the AC to arctic temperatures, or to run the heat rather than don a sweater, or to feed wants rather than needs, or to not switch to solar power, or to not reuse, reduce, and recycle, or to not build our homes eco-friendly, or.... (and on and on and on).
"They" are not forcing these products and habits and addictions on us. When we stop buying what they are pushing, we send a message loud and clear, to our government, to big business, and to the world. Perhaps when we demand that our government make regulations to protect us, or ask that big business starts thinking not just in terms of short-term profits but long-term sustainability, we must already be diligently working on quitting those habits which got us into this mess in the first place.
While I agree that we should demand from our leaders that which will benefit us all and not just a handful of the wealthy and powerful, I also think that, as with health care, we must exercise control over ourselves.
You must be the change you want to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi
No one is forcing us to leave lights on, or to leave computers on, or to run water while washing dishes or brushing teeth, or to use a dryer, or to eat irresponsibly raised food, or to eat food products, or not buy locally, or not buy organic, or to drive large vehicles, or to drive at all, or to run the AC to arctic temperatures, or to run the heat rather than don a sweater, or to feed wants rather than needs, or to not switch to solar power, or to not reuse, reduce, and recycle, or to not build our homes eco-friendly, or.... (and on and on and on).
"They" are not forcing these products and habits and addictions on us. When we stop buying what they are pushing, we send a message loud and clear, to our government, to big business, and to the world. Perhaps when we demand that our government make regulations to protect us, or ask that big business starts thinking not just in terms of short-term profits but long-term sustainability, we must already be diligently working on quitting those habits which got us into this mess in the first place.
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