What's My Label?

A Standing Chill

2010-09-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

This might be all over the place. It was being written in my head as I was waking up. I didn't quite realize it was until I was crawling out of bed, heading for the computer thinking, 'I should blog this.' Now, more awake, I'm thinking I don't really want to. I'm tired, I don't feel well, and I have not had coffee yet, plus I don't have as clear a picture of this blog as my half-asleep self did. But, I find myself at the keyboard anyway, so here we go...

Some mornings I wake up with a feeling of anxiety deep in my stomach. This morning, for example, as I lie awake knowing that I still had an hour before my alarm was to go off, I tried to shut my mind off, tried to ignore the swirling in my stomach but to no avail. The more I tried, the more the anxiety grew and grew until it was strong enough to have a voice. The voice of anxiety usually says the same thing, or variations on the same theme.

"You are going to die someday."

Ugh. Yes.

Now I'm wondering if I should calm any fears here for my sanity. I'm using some creative license here in this blog. I don't actually hear any voice in my head other than my own.

Anyway, the reality of mortality slowly began to creep in when my grandfather died (less than a month after the twin towers fell) in 2001. I think on some level every young person knows that everyone dies. But, they don't quite apply it to themselves or to the people they know personally until they are old enough to process the information. I know this was the case with me. As I gradually began to understand that death wasn't something that happened to other people but to everyone, I needed help fully understanding it and dealing with its reality, as I think most people do. I'd already had a copy of a book called Buddhism Without Beliefs: A Contemporary Guide to Awakening by Stephen Batchelor and I began reading it in the span between the deaths of 3000 strangers and my beloved grandfather.

The book was a great help to me. The one thing I took from it was this: suffering comes from our attempts at running from and hiding from the reality of death. Once we accept its inevitability, really accept it, we can move toward peace and enlightenment. It was such a blow to my mind, a good one, that when my grandfather passed, I was more able than I might otherwise have been to really celebrate his life and not mourn his death.

But in those hours between sleep and awareness, particularly when the anxiety of unknown cause is swirling in my stomach and my brain tries to fill in a reason while I try to fall back asleep, I succumb to a kind of fear, a despair. We might have to accept that death is inevitable, but that doesn't mean we have to be comfortable with it.

Actually, yes it does. And that's the struggle.

This isn't an argument for or against the existence of a god or an afterlife (either of which could exist without the other), just the thought that I had as I got out of bed. It was that I'm just as human as anyone else. I get the fear. I have it. Although I believe that after I die, I wink from existence as though I'd never been, the thought can be crushing.

It why when I'm told by believers that they do not believe out of fear of death, I scoff. I'm just as human as they and I know what my motivations would be in believing in a god who, for the small price of belief, would give me eternal life. For all that I'm told that it's more humble to believe in something greater than yourself, I think it is also humble to believe that death is death, and that we don't get to live forever, especially after living in a world on which we see everything on a cycle of life and death.

Sometimes life can take on a pointlessness in the knowledge that it all ends. The struggle is to get back to that acceptance of inevitability and move it on to a kind of comfort in the idea. It's part of the cycle of all things. Even this awesome universe will someday cease to be. Put in that light, comparing my insignificant self, my body and whatever else makes me me, with that of the universe, putting us both on the same path of life and death is comforting.

Anyway, that was my thought upon waking, and now I must be off to cause myself pain in the name of losing inches and hopefully someday having the fabulous bod I've always wanted. I won't ever be a 20-something again, but it ain't over 'til it's over :)

Love the Earth

2010-09-20T17:20:00.001-07:00

My submissions to Imogen Heap's "Love the Earth."

Target Ain't People

2010-08-16T14:06:00.000-07:00

Ebb and Flow: What the Desert Has Taught Me

2010-04-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

The desert. Three years ago I left this place. I was sad to leave friends behind, but not sad to leave this place itself. It's hot, dusty, barren, brown, and... HOT. This desert wasn't even my favorite kind of desert. I figured, if you're going to be a desert, do it right. No scrub and brush and prickly things. Just sand. That's how you do a desert properly.

Not that I wanted to live in that kind of desert either. I didn't want to live in any desert...they're all hot, dusty, barren, brown, and... HOT.

So we went to California. Mild, moist, green... beautiful. Who can deny the beauty of the California coast, its powerful ocean pounding the sand, kindly reminding us ( in case we dumped our humility along the way) that we are small and insignificant? Who can resist the pine forests found just miles inland, whispering its ancient secrets like the Ents in a land only found in dreams (... well, and in books, movies and video games)? Surely not I.

I walked every day in the woods behind our house. But I rarely ventured out to other places. They were there. I'd get to it. The last two years by the sea, I vowed that I would start walking along the coast every day. And, every day that I didn't, I told myself it didn't matter. It was there. I'd get to it.

But living in such a beautiful place, where the world stays mostly green all year long, and the beauty of the ocean and the forests are always available, one can get lazy, taking for granted the comfortable sameness that Nature there can provide.

It wasn't until I had a few weeks left, and was totally engrossed (against my will) in moving preparations that I realized: yes, the coast and the unexplored (by me, at least) forests are still there, but there was no time left for me to get to it. I was leaving green lushness, heading back to that hot, dusty, barren, brown place. The green sameness had lulled me into a complacency, one that repeats itself often in other ways throughout our lives... how often do we hear stories of people who wished they'd spent more time with a loved one, not imagining their time together was to be cut short?

It was at that moment of realization that I was determined to never again take for granted the beauties and wonders that Nature was offering. No matter how trivial, I would find something to love about the place I was in and not yearn for something other; and, once found, Her offerings would not be put on a shelf for a later day, but enjoyed in the moment.

I've been here two and a half months now. I've been on two hikes through a forest of tall Saguaros and Prickly Pear, where I marveled at water running through the desert, saw several jack rabbits with their hilariously long ears and legs, learned the names of a few desert plants, and was able to witness the desert patiently paused on the brink of Spring. I've hiked through a "sky island" otherwise known as Madera Canyon, and saw snow-capped mountains peaking through elm and ash, the spring thaw rushing past in creeks and waterfalls. I've been to an arboretum, where I finally saw a jojoba plant, the oil of which I use often to keep my youthful glow (ha!). I have since realized I had seen the jojoba plants many times, I just didn't know to recognize it. I joined the Sonoran Desert Museum, where I learned that a cactus isn't just a cactus; they are numerous and varied. I have walked miles upon miles along dry river beds and around my neighborhood, noticing the little things... the globe mallow growing wild, prickly poppy, desert zinnia, desert marigold, rabbits, birds, the scents carried on the occasional breeze. From my backyard, I have learned to recognize the song of the Cactus Wren. Surely it was here the last time I lived here, but this is the first time I've heard it. I hear it now every day.

With eyes wide open, I've seen this desert in a new way. And, it has taught me a thing or two.

The desert embodies the truth of life, a truth we often overlook or ignore because it conveys a message that is bittersweet. It's a word most of us dislike, and that is what the desert tries to change. Yin and Yang. Dark and Light. Bitter and Sweet. The two opposites rely on each other to exist, and neither lasts forever.

The desert's particular gifts of spring wildflowers, spectacular sunsets, cleansing rains, rainbows, and blooming cacti cautions us that the joys in life are fleeting and encourages us to pay attention to the beauty, opportunity, life and Nature.

In contrast, its AWFUL heat in the summer (I won't lie.. I'm not looking forward to that), intense sunlight, killer (yet awe-inspiring) lightning storms, venomous creatures, and prickly flora point to the contrast: that life isn't always easy, and that Nature doesn't always hand us what we want. It's a struggle.

But, while the good things are fleeting, so are the bad. The desert, as does the ocean, teaches humility, but also joy and awe.

It's there for us to enjoy, a sweet to contrast the bitter, but only if we get to it.

Obama and the Senate=Fail. The Rest of Us=We Can Even if They Can't

2009-12-24T08:30:00.001-08:00

Health care: what a joke. To read all the ins and outs of this disaster, click here.

Not a single Republican in the Senate voted for the incredibly watered down health care bill that was passed 60-39. They fear the big government is taking over. Senators of the GOP, you bitch about the government like it's some evil entity... hello! It's the very same government in which you are a part, and from which you get your salaries and your health care. Hypocrites!

I was talking with a friend a few months ago who lives in Korea. She expressed sadness at the health care debate in this country, and didn't understand how people could deny others medical care should they need it, and didn't understand the fear of socialism. I agreed (and brought up forms of socialism we already enjoy, such as state run schools with state approved curricula, police, fire, and other public works).

It is a shame, and it saddens me too. I am not without health care, but I know those who are. I think sometimes fear of change, that very change we were promised, can frighten people to the point where they allow their elected officials to work against the people's best interest, all the while insisting they are protecting them.. from financial collapse, from socialism, from death panels, from the boogey man.

I've finally realized that it's not just the Republicans who mislead their followers. It's the Democrats as well, all the way to the top of the food chain. There are a few well-meaning souls (like Kucinich, who has run twice but will never ever get elected President, no matter how many times he tries). I feel betrayed. Mislead. I feel that Obama has allowed his good intentions (I do believe he has/had them) to be trumped by.. what? Those powerful men who lurk just behind the curtain? Lobbyists? Big Business? Wall Street? Or is it just plain ol' reality? Is there some reality that is not being communicated clearly to us, something that portends doom if we cover all Americans?

All of the above?

I am also sick of moderate Democrats. If the majority of people wanted Republicans, they would have voted that way. But they didn't. Not this time and not in 2006. When Republicans are in control of the House and Senate, the Republicans win. And, when Democrats are in control, the Republicans win. Democrats are either too close to the middle, or are a bunch of pansy asses who are afraid to stand up for the tenets of their party.

Wake up Democratic Senators! You are supposed to balance out the other party, not constantly cave to the side of conservatism! Bah...

Copenhagen Climate Conference: it was more than disappointing.

Ok, at least we were there this time, right?

Not good enough. Not at this stage in the game.

To put it plainly, not taking many steps backwards is actually taking huge leaps backward. Population is growing. Developing nations are growing. The US is as bent on consumerism and consumption as ever, and it's getting worse. Per capita, we produce the most greenhouse gasses on the planet. The rainforests (the Earth's air filter) are disappearing, giving way to cattle grazing and farm land. The summer ice (the Earth's cooling system) will be gone in a few short years. It's also the same ice which has long trapped another greenhouse gas, methane. The world has already gone beyond 350ppm... we have gone beyond the tipping point. We really do not want to see what happens when we go beyond the point of no return, to the 770ppm that was the negotiated number to come out of Copenhagen.

A word or two to the rest of us, who still can, if we choose.

Health care: A friend of mine recently brought up a good point. A large part of health care is prevention. So true! America has one of the highest rates of preventable deaths in the industrialized world and yet spends the most on health care. That's not something any government health care reform can fix for us. We need to do that ourselves. There is so much we can do to keep ourselves out of the hospital. The foods we eat. The air we breath. The water we drink. Our activity levels. Our spiritual and emotional health.

Climate change: While we wait for the world's leaders to grow some cohones, to pass legislation within their own countries, to tell their people that the age of gobbling up resources is over, and pass binding resolutions at conferences like the recent one in Copenhagen...we can do our part.

We can send a message to them all, through our actions, what it is we want. We already do this, of course. But our message at the moment is one of complacency, of business-as-usual, of "what we deserve" rather than what is healthy.

There are so many things we can do. Eat responsibly, by choosing foods without carbon inputs (in other words, organically grown food), local food, and less meat (cattle are destroying the rainforests as mentioned above, plus they and their flatulence are one of the major contributors of greenhouse gasses, not to mention their shit polluting our rivers and streams). Switch to CFLs and LEDs, and turn them off when not necessary. Save up for some wind and/or solar power equipment. Drive smaller, slower, and less often. Practice the 6 R's: refuse, reduce, re-use, repair, recycle and rot. Dry clothes on a line. Dump the harsh cleaning chemicals for some good ol' vinegar and water. Cloth napkins, dishrags and hand towels instead of paper equivalents. Grow some of your own food. Capture rain water for some of your water needs.

Really, the list goes on and on. I don't do enough. None of us are doing enough. But what we do (or don't do) tells those in power what we are willing to do, what we are capable of. We are more than mere consumers.

Thanks for reading

An interesting blog I found while searching for good links (really do check out a few. They are interesting): FoodShed Planet

Let's Go to Copenhagen

2009-11-20T14:08:00.001-08:00

Distractions. Pick your flavor. We have lots. However, some are bigger than others.

Take a recent Google search for two separate but current issues.

Heath Care Reform: Results 1 - 10 of about 29,000,000 for health care reform. (0.18

seconds)

Copenhagen Climate Conference: Results 1 - 10 of about 4,370,000 for copenhagen climate conference. (0.16 seconds)

Logging into Yahoo! today, seeing the upteenth headline on health care reform, and it suddenly hit me... perhaps I'm a bit slow on the uptake...this is all just a distraction. Not the need for health care reform, but all the damned (to borrow a word from my "favorite" Republican) dithering, the lies and fear-mongering about death panels, less choice and *gasp* higher taxes, etc.

We have sick people who are dying because they don't have health care, or because their health care is inadequate, or because their health care dropped them because they got sick. This is a non-issue that has been made into an issue, a dilemma that has a solution. Arguing about abortion and death panels turns the whole thing, and all of us, into a joke.

Smoke and mirrors.

How many people know anything about what's coming up in December? Who in our government is talking about its importance? Who in our media is telling the whole truth?

The search results speak for themselves.

~FdlL

Cherry Dump Cake from scratch!

2009-11-17T00:09:00.000-08:00

This is "traditionally" made with a boxed cake and canned pie filling, but this version isn't as sweet. This one is just sweet enough, and not much more difficult to make. Prep time is perhaps 15-20 minutes if you use frozen cherries (longer if you use fresh and pit them yourself). Not bad!

2 lbs (32 oz) frozen dark pitted cherries.
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup honey
1 Tablespoon cornstarch
butter for greasing the pan
1/2 fresh pineapple
2 cups unbleached flour
1 1/4 cup unrefined sugar
2 1/2 tsp aluminum-free baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
10 Tablespoons cold butter (1 1/4 sticks)
1 tablespoon fresh orange zest, minced

In a large saucepan, put cherries, half the water, and honey and turn heat to medium. In a small cup, mix the remaining water with the cornstarch. Set aside. Cook the fruit until it simmers, stirring occasionally.

While the fruit cooks, Cut the pineapple into fairly small pieces. Butter the bottom of a 13x9 inch pan. Layer pineapple in pan. Set aside.

By now your fruit should be simmering. Add the cornstarch/water mixture. Stir well. Allow to simmer for another minute and remove from heat.

Preheat oven to 350

In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Cut in the butter, with two knives, with a pastry cutter, or with your fingers (my preferred method. Grab a piece of butter, pinch and drop. Repeat.) When the butter is thoroughly incorporated (it should resemble something like a cornmeal), stir in the orange zest.

In the 13x9 inch pan, Layer the cherries over the pineapple. With your hands, sprinkle the flour mixture over the top of the cherries. Even it out with your hands, but don't press down too firmly.

Put the pan in the oven and bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Turn the heat to 325 and continue to cook another 45 minutes.

Voila!

Can also add chopped nuts and/or shredded unsweetened coconut to the top before baking.

Thankful and No One to Thank

2009-11-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in an earlier blog that I would write another explaining to who or what I am thankful.

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.
Dante Gabriel Rossetti

There's an article over on About.com's Atheism site about Thanksgiving and atheists, arguing against the belief that atheists have no one to thank during the holiday. While the article brings up some valid points, siting as targets for our gratitude such things as people, scientists, modern medicine and technology, etc., as usual, the atheist persona online is a very stoic one. Matter-of-fact.

For me and, without a doubt many others, it's simply not the whole picture.

Yes, I thank the farmers who made the meal possible, the turkey who gave its life (unwillingly and unwittingly)... and not just at Thanksgiving. The people and animals who provide us sustenance are always at the top of my Thank You List, every day of the year.

But what about a particularly beautiful sunrise, or even an ugly one? (Is there such a thing?) A wispy cloud and a light breeze that takes me back 20 years to an almost-forgotten memory? A show put on by a group of birds dancing and twirling in the air over a rush hour-clogged street? A day which, for reasons unknown, is a particularly good one, where everything just seems to click?

For some things, there really is no one to thank, and yet I am still thankful. To whom or what you might ask.

To which I might respond, "Does it matter?"

So, during this month of Thanksgiving, I am thankful to the tangible, the people, animals, scientists, etc., for their particular contributions to life on Earth. I am also thankful to the less tangible and often nameless but no less important forces that govern life.. Mother Nature. Fate. Luck. Happenstance. The Universe. Everything. Nothing in Particular.*

*I assign no supernatural power to these things. Some are not even "real" (fate, for example), and yet there is a definite lack in our vocabulary to describe their equal and so I use the words anyway. Some atheists would cringe at my nod to "Mother Nature." I do not believe that nature is female, nor that there is a Mother Goddess, etc. However the symbolism of the female figure giving and nurturing life is a wonderful one that can be viewed in the same way Einstein viewed the harmony of the universe.

Sex in a Pan from Scratch

2009-11-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

There are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of recipes on the net for Sex in a Pan. They are all nearly identical: layer prepackaged this with prepackaged that, and let's call it cooking.

Over at The Copy Writer's Kitchen, there is a great list compiled by Lorraine Thompson of the Ten Good Reasons to Start Cooking From Scratch. It is really a fantastic list. If you've ever wondered why I (and so many others) are so adamant about cooking with real food, that list really says it all.

I've searched in vain for a from-scratch recipe for Sex in a Pan, but with zero success. Either I'm missing the one that's already out there, or it just doesn't exist. Changing that today!

It's all very basic. Rather than using instant pudding or cool whip, we'll use real pudding and whipped cream. If you really want to go all out, you can make your own cream cheese too! The rest is the same as any other Sex in a Pan: layer the various ingredients, chill, and voila! A wonderfully rich dessert. :)

SEX in a PAN from scratch

The Crust:

1/2 cup each unbleached and whole wheat flour (totaling 1 cup)
1/2 cup butter (8 tablespoons), cold, cut into tablespoons (not margarine)
3/4 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350.
While the oven is heating up, combine the flours with the butter. You can use a pastry cutter for this or, as I prefer, your hands. Pick up a piece of butter, pinch, and drop. Repeat until the butter is incorporated into the flour. It should resemble a coarse cornmeal in texture.
Stir in the pecans
Press into a 13x9 inch pan.
Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until it is a light golden brown.
Cool completely, in pan, on a wire wrack.

Do the following step a few hours or up to a day in advance, since the pudding must cool completely before the dessert can be assembled
Layers 2 and 3--Puddings:

1 cup unrefined sugar
2/3 cup cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
5 cups half-and-half or whole milk (5 cups = 1 quart + 1 cup)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (not imitation)
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, roughly chopped

In a saucepan, combine sugar, cornstarch and salt.
In a separate saucepan, gently heat the half-and-half on medium heat for 5-7 minutes.
Slowly add half and half into sugar/cornstarch mixture, over medium heat, stirring constantly with a whisk.
Once it's combined,continue to stir until the mixture thickens.
Turn the heat down to very low and cook, stirring constantly, for 10-15 minutes.
Stir in vanilla.
Divide the pudding equally into two bowls.
In a small saucepan or double boiler, melt chocolate.
Add melted chocolate to one of the bowls of pudding, mixing until thoroughly combined.
Place both bowls in the refrigerator for a few hours until completely cooled. (No need to cover them with plastic wrap. When ready to use, just remove the "skin" from the top of each pudding.)

When the pudding is cooled--
Layer 1--Cream Cheese:

1 (8oz) package cream cheese, at room temperature (or make your own)
1 cup unrefined sugar

(Here you're going to make your own confectioner's [powdered] sugar. Once you do this, you'll never buy another package of the stuff! I like to use a coffee grinder that I have just for grinding sugar, nuts, grains and spices. To clean a coffee grinder between uses, run a tablespoon of white rice through it for about 30 seconds)
Take one cup of unrefined sugar and pulse it in a food processor or coffee grinder until it's a powder.. and that's it!
Combine the cream cheese with your confectioner's sugar. Mix well.
Set aside in a covered bowl until ready to assemble.

Layer 4--Whipped Cream:

1 quart heavy cream
1/4 cup sour cream (which you can also make, if you were feeling adventurous!)
1/4 cup unrefined sugar

In a chilled bowl, combine heavy cream and sour cream. In a standing mixer or with a whisk, beat cream just until soft peaks begin to form.
Add the sugar.
Continue to beat just until stiff peaks form. (Make sure you don't overbeat or you'll end up with butter!)

Layer 5-- Garnishes:

1 square semisweet chocolate, shaved
1 teaspoon Dutch-process cocoa powder (optional)
1/8 tsp cinnamon (optional)

Assemble it all!:

Over the cooled crust, spread the cream cheese mixture.
Then, evenly spread the vanilla pudding, followed by the chocolate pudding (using a large spoon or whatever utensil works best for you, remove skins from the top of each pudding before layering).
Next, spread the whipped cream.
Top it all off with any or all of the garnishes.

Chill and serve! Best if eaten within a day (as if this thing will sit around uneaten that long!! :)

I'm not really an environmentalist

2009-11-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

An off-the-cuff blog that won't be edited for PC-ness.

How many times have you seen this, or perhaps said it yourself?

I am not an environmentalist.

I'm always struck with the strangeness of this statement, almost like someone saying, "Yeah.. I'm not really into food."

Well, actually, a friend once called me a foodie, and my incredulous response was, "Aren't we all?" (I'd never before heard the term foodie.) I mean, we all eat. And, even if we personally find that eating takes up just way too much time in a day, or that cooking is a complete waste of a life... well, at the very least, two things are true: everyone needs sustenance to survive, and most people have taste buds and therefore enjoy the taste of at least some foods.

So, back to environmentalists, and all of those people who claim to not be one...where are they living? An environment-free bubble?

And no, I don't mean to imply that they are living in La La Land with their heads in the sand, not paying attention (although for some, that may very well be the case). I mean, are they not living in THE Environment? You know, the one, and only one, responsible for sustaining their lives? The one, and only one, that is essential in not only their survival but that of all their friends and family?

It often seems to be said as though to quickly assure people, "No, I'm not going to start bathing in cow dung, or wiping my ass with leaves and sticks, or any of those other wacko things those hippie treehuggers do, because.. well, I'm not an environmentalist!"

I understand not being into.. video gaming, religion, body art, spectator sports, soap operas, Mafia Wars, chocolate, high fashion... you could spend days listing everything aside from the basics: food, water, clean air, shelter, community. The rest is just bonus. Take it or leave it.

You can't leave THE Environment. It's just not an option.

I try my best to not be intolerant, to understand the origins of people's viewpoints, etc. I really do. But, if I'm being honest, anyone who's very survival depends on the health of THE Environment is making the most absurd statement ever when they say, "I'm not an environmentalist."

~

Autumn, Thankfully

2009-11-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

Autumn.. arguably one of the finest seasons of the year. Autumn is one of my favorites.

“Summer ends, and Autumn comes, and he who would have it otherwise would have high tide always and a full moon every night.”
~Hal Borland

Saying autumn is one of my favorites isn't saying much, as I claim each season as "one of my favorites." I like them all, each of the seasons, for their own beauties and bounties. Spring for its temperate breezes and renewal of life. Summer for its clear skies and vibrant energy. Autumn for its varied colors and crisp air. Winter for its dark calm and permission to stay indoors.

This morning, a friend on Facebook asked that people leave a comment listing things for which they are most thankful (in preparation for the American tradition of Thanksgiving coming up at the end of November).

A more appropriate question for me would be: what are you not thankful for. The answer would be, "Not much." Good and Bad. Yin and Yang. Summer and Winter. I am grateful for them all and everything in between.

"According to yin and yang theory, there is a permanent tendency to balance between opposite forces. Right and wrong, winter and summer, they always contain some of its opposite and are always interacting. According to this, there is nothing completely good or completely bad, and there is nothing permanent. All opposite aspects are always going through a cycle and looking for balance between each other."

~Yin and Yang-The Opposites in Balance

It might seem glib, but I mean it with 100% sincerity. (To who or what I am thankful can be left for another blog on another day! :)

For many people in this world, there is certainly more sorrow than joy. I do not necessarily speak of being thankful when one's land is taken away by corporations, or when one must work in a factory 12 hours a day for mere pennies so that people half a world away can have stuff. Rather, I speak from my own experiences.

(One might argue that happiness and gratitude are relative to one's own experiences; while I think anyone, in any situation, is capable of feeling happiness and gratitude, even in something as "simple" as a sunrise, an embrace, or a large plush toy, I do not wish to trivialize that kind of pain which I can only imagine.)

Life for many of us has been made simpler through modern conveniences and technology, to the point we might think we will never know again what it is to truly struggle. But, nothing, other than the changing nature of everything, is permanent, not even our current state of ease. Can we be thankful for what we have whilst not being equally thankful for the changes that made it possible, and the changes that are inevitable?

दुक्ख

~The Four Noble Truths and Dukkha

Would spring be as enjoyable if it wasn't a respite after a harsh winter? How sweet would laughter be if it did not occasionally follow tears of grief? Would dessert be as wonderful if it came before dinner rather than after?

It's true that sometimes dessert should come before dinner.. or take its place entirely! Were it to do so every time, however, dessert would lose its special oomph. We might in time come to view dessert as the thing we have to get through in order to get to the good stuff... like Brussels sprouts.

One might say, then, that to keep things in their right order, we should be immensely grateful for life's Brussels sprouts

so that we can better appreciate its Sex in a Pan

(btw, I tried and tried to find a recipe for Sex in a Pan NOT using crappy boxed pudding or cool whip. It can't be found. That must be changed! I will post one very soon!!)

Oh! They Got Me!

2009-10-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

So I stumbled upon Conservapedia today.. my oh my, what an awesome site that thing is! The "Trustworthy Encyclopedia" it says. I'm sure it alone could provide hours upon hours upon days of entertainment. Between that site and others like People of Walmart and My Tattoo Sucks, I could be in real danger of getting nothing else done in life. (Trust me, don't click on those links until you've at least read this blog, and perhaps fed your children and watered your plants.)

One page in particular which caught my eye was the Causes of Atheism, a page which claims to contain "a number of reasonable explanations for atheism." Oh my gawd, what spectacular stuff! I simply can't resist going over each of the assertions one by one. Care to join me? Let's begin!

Moral depravity: This is one with which I am quite familiar and is a favorite. The moral depravity of which Conservapedia writes supposedly comes in part from the "deceptions" propagated by evolutionists. That would be damning indeed if evolution=atheism. But, it doesn't. Moving on.

Then comes the well known quote about fools. We all know this one. "The fool has said in his heart, 'There is no god.' They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good." (Psalms 14:1 (KJV))."

Ahhh, and there we have it. The reason for this enduring belief that an atheist must be immoral. It says so in the Bible, therefore, in spite of real world evidence to the contrary, it must be true.

Case-in-point: my husband, a law-abiding man who has served his country for nearly twenty years, was told by a fellow soldier a few years ago that it was impossible for him to be a moral person due to his atheism (or rather, his lack of Christianity). He defended himself, espoused his virtues and his clean record, but all to no avail.

It doesn't matter though. If one could manage to convince a person holding the belief that atheists are morally depraved that he was, in fact, possessing of some good moral fiber, he would then merely be told that it is faith and not works which matters most. (Ephesians 2:8-9 (KJV)). Sometimes you just can't win for trying.

Rebellion: Rebellion against parents. Rebellion against teachers. Rebellion against the supposed Creator of Everything. We have all done one or all of these things at some point in our lives. This usually occurs between the mid-teens to the mid-twenties. A few never grow out of the need to push back at authority. For the majority of us who do manage to grow up and grow out of it, whatever deviation from the "norm" remains is not rebellion. It is simply who we are, an accumulation of personal experience, observation, and instinct.

However, I think the author of this page has a different concept of rebellion, not just a rebellion against authority, but rebellion against unfairness, cruelty or inconsistency. "If there was a God, there wouldn't be so much suffering."

Well, yes. I think that's true, but I wouldn't call it rebellion. If I am to believe a book which claims a divine being as its inspiration... a Divine Being(!!!), I must believe all of it (or none of it). Cherry picking a book which, for all intents and purposes, was written by the Creator of the Cosmos is not allowed, is it? It seems to me that the tragic nature of existence alongside the equally beautiful nature of existence would owe more to chance than it would to a supposed deity possessing foreknowledge, benevolence, and an unconditional love for those beings which it created.. and yet killed 99.99999% of the creatures (including humans) because he didn't like the way things were turning out, and tortured a good man on a whim, and at the suggestion of his nemesis. It's not rebellion to question the existence of such a being. It is incredulity.

Superficiality: One who claims belief (or non belief) in a deity due to peer pressure is neither being honest with himself nor with others. I suggest that Paul Vitz was never truly an atheist. He claims that his lack of belief was caused by his desire to fit in with his fellow professors at Stanford, and this is therefore used by Conservapedia to illustrate that some atheism is caused by peer pressure. How then would they explain what causes an atheist to continue being so in a world that is 84% religious?

I will allow that just as atheists in Bible Belt states sometimes fake belief to avoid being ostracized, those in a community of intelligentsia might fake atheism for the same reasons. But none of it is real and should not be counted against or for either side.

Error: This is a "failure to fairly and judiciously consider the facts".

How does one argue against this without turning to childish antics such as, "Oh yeah? Well...you started it!"?

I don't think I can, and so I leave it to those masters of reason (and tact) who are far better equipped than I.

State churches: Conservapedia suggests that countries with state churches where participation is not required (nor lack of participation punished) tend to have a larger population of atheists because "state churches become bloated, corrupt, and/or out of touch with the religious intuitions of the population." Interesting concept. I hold a different opinion, however.

Let's take the Brits and their Church of England . (The above link, btw, leads to a fascinating study on religion in the U.K. I'm a happy anglophile :) ). Jeremy Paxman says the Church of England reflects "how the English like their religion - pragmatic, comfortable and unobtrusive."

And wouldn't you too, after having endured a history with such things as crusades and Mary Tudor? Perhaps it's not only the established church but the established country as well, with a history long enough and bloody enough to know better than to meddle in the spiritual affairs of its people. Left to one's own devices, is atheism more likely to occur, not from any deficiency of spiritual guidance but from a natural propensity for skepticism and inquiry?

Poor relationship with father: This is another gem from Paul Vitz. For his book Faith of the Fatherless, he researched twelve atheists and found that a "large majority of them had a father who was present but weak, present but abusive, or absent."

Well, technically there, he'd have me. My father falls into the "absent" category, almost from the moment of my birth. But, Mr. Vitz shouldn't get too excited. Although my father was absent, I had something better: a grandfather who was very much present and was neither weak nor abusive. My grandfather was the best of men. Intelligent, rational, calm, resourceful, subtly humorous. And, from what I can tell, he was something of an agnostic deist. My grandmother, in fact, "blames" my atheism on him; she says he often would tell me, "Believe none of what you hear, and half of what you see."

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Thanks Grandpa :)

I am just one atheist and certainly can't vouch for all atheists. Still, my one is nearly as valid in a scientific study as is Vitz's twelve.

Division in religion: Francis Bacon wrote, "...when atheists, and profane persons, do hear of so many discordant, and contrary opinions in religion; it doth avert them from the church, and maketh them, to sit down in the chair of the scorners."

I'll give them partial credit on this one with most of it going to Bacon. I can't say that my atheism was at all prompted by divisions within religion. I knew nothing of the politics and squabbling and various denominations back then. But I do know people who were propelled to begin questioning what they'd been told because of this kind of thing.

However, it does not follow that one must therefore come to the conclusion that there is no god. Rather they can, and often do, come to the conclusion that organized religion is man-made, thus leading them to a more personal belief not bound by man-made dogma.

Learned times, peace, and prosperity: Darn those silly learned times of peace and prosperity! They sure can be a nuisance!

Like the benefit of a longer history granting society the possibility of a broader perspective (if their governments allow it), so can peace and prosperity. It makes sense, that in such times, there will be an explosion of philosophy, art, music, etc. Far from viewing atheism as something that detracts from society, I think it, or rather the freedom to be it, adds to a society in a very beneficial way. It is that very freedom to be what most are not, without fear, which points to the broader enlightenment of a culture.

During these times, according to Jewish columnist Dennis Prager, "from elementary school through graduate school, only one way of looking at the world – the secular – is presented." Fortunately, in such enlightened times and cultures which allow heathens to live, believers are also allowed certain freedoms. Parents are still allowed to share their religious and/or spiritual beliefs with their children, and places of worship are still allowed to operate (tax free, too).

Negative experiences with theists: I've had them, sure. Everyone has. But, I like to call it negative experiences with other people, because that's what it is.

Have I had negative experiences with another person because they were a theist and I an atheist? Of course. However, I was already an atheist, and their assholery had no bearing on my lack of belief in a deity.

Scientism: : "Science has in many ways become a new God." When I read this to my oldest son, he laughed and replied, "It always has been."

*gasp*

No, he's not confirming the belief that science has become a religion. He is more mirroring Einstein's thoughts, when he said, "I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it."

Nature, our world, the universe... it's awe-inspiring and wondrous and frightening and simple and complicated and ordered and chaotic. Science unlocks the doors, revealing answers to age-old mysteries. Science is not, however, a god.

My reasons: Whenever I read about the reasons behind atheism, written by theists, I often wonder... wouldn't it be more effective to just ask an atheist? Sure, we are many and varied, which is why generalizations don't work, for anyone. You'd have to talk to a lot of us to understand the various reasons behind atheism.

Although I'm one voice, here's my story: growing up, I had vague notions of God. God just was, and that was it. Christmases and Easters gave a slight nod to God and Jesus. I recently found a tape of my four-year-old self singing religious songs around Christmas, so I know it was not completely absent from my earliest years.

At 8, I went to Catechism. The nuns felt I wasn't quite catching on and gave me a private lesson. Still didn't take, but I took First Communion anyway. At 14, during a mass, I chose to remain sitting when the rest of the congregation knelt. It was the first time I called myself an atheist. From there, it's been a gradual process, coming to understand who I am and why I think as I do. I've never once taken my atheism lightly; religion, belief and non-belief is a subject I have thought of often, though I do so for a better understanding as opposed to self-doubt. I am completely at peace with who I am.

That's it. Boring. No painful stories. No abusive father. My childhood was neither traumatic nor storybook. The nun who pulled me aside didn't beat me with a ruler. I love churches, their architecture and calmness inside, the echoing vastness. I'm neither rebelling, nor is my lack of belief in any deity a superficial one born out of peer pressure. I just don't believe that there is any god, not the one the Christians claim is real, nor the Dogma Free Creator of the deists, nor any of the hundreds of mythological beings in which people have claimed belief since the time man first wondered at the nature of his existence.

Atheists? Care to share your reasons? Anyone? Thoughts?

~

Let's not call it poetry... let's call it "The crap that's in my head"

2009-10-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

The woman walks along her
Path
It is new
It is worn
Familiar

While she knows her own mind
others get only a glimpse
What she shows them
What they want to see
No more
No less

They often venture a guess
but rarely come close
to truly understanding
Her
Him
Me
You

On her journey of seeking
Truth
Understanding
Acceptance
Her path crosses another's...

'What is the nature
of your journey?
It looks different from
Mine'

Their footsteps seem to
whisper back...

Tread gently. The path upon which you walk others have made for you, regardless of you, and still others shall follow, in spite of you.

Your journeys are the
Same
Beginning
Seeking
Ending

We may venture a guess
but rarely come close
to truly understanding

Randomness

2009-09-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

While I have shared this with friends on Facebook, and while visitors to What's My Label (hey.. there could be more than the 6 who are subscribed! You know, the silent lurker types lol) can find a link to it in the sidebar here, I feel this particular blog entry on Random deserves special attention.

Without further adieu, I give you:

Small Gestures continued

~

Tribute to Pretend Friends

2009-09-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

In this day and age, we all have them.

"Pretend" friends.

Virtual pals.

Cyber buddies... (and get your mind out of the gutter. I don't mean that kind of cyber!).

These are the people we've met and connected with on social networking sites, gaming sites, message boards, online games like the ever popular WoW (and the much underrated EQ2), etc.

Back in 2002, I moved to Washington D.C. I knew no one. After living there 6 months, I still knew no one. It was then I began playing Star Wars Galaxies, an online mmorpg. I met some people. I felt less lonely. It was just what the doctor would have ordered... at least, if that doctor was hip and accepting of newer, growing forms of social outlets.

While living in DC, I'd connected with a few women from the Stay at Home Parents message board on About.com. One afternoon, we met at a central location, all our kids in tow, and had a wonderful time. I didn't keep in touch with any of them, but it was the first time I'd met anyone from online.

I was still playing Star Wars Galaxies when, 11 months after arriving in DC, I moved to Arizona. I was able to take my pretend friends with me. Because of that, it was probably one of the easiest moves I'd ever made.

Once in Arizona, I began speaking on the phone with several of my Star Wars Galaxies people, from England, Georgia, and Arizona, one of whom I met in 2004 and attended a Cirque de Soleil with. Was such an interesting experience because we'd really only known each other through our in-game personae.

In 2008, I met another SWG cyber buddy. He came out from Georgia to spend a week with me and my family. We'd kept in close contact since 2004, talking on the phone once a week. Meeting him was like meeting a long lost family member.

Then came EverQuest II. I still keep in touch with many of the people I played with there. Last year, in fact, one couple from EQ2 sent me a book, with a note addressed to "Luna", my in-game nickname. The book will forever remind me of the always-ready-to laugh barbarian Berserker and short but fierce dwarf Templar from Norrath.

It was in the last several years that ventrilo voice chat became a popular choice for gamers. Hearing someone's voice for the first time is a bit of a shock, but you get used to it. My friends and I had some hilarious times on vent. There's nothing quite like playing a game with virtual pals, adventuring together, protecting one another from ferocious beasts, whilst joking and talking and laughing on vent. It's a unique kind of bonding in my opinion, one that burns its moments vividly in memory.

After EQ2, I started frequenting a little site known as Yahoo!Answers. It's rather difficult wading through the hordes of people there who are only interested in causing mayhem; after a time, however, one begins to separate the trolls from the real people. It is from there that connections and friendships can form. I have one in particular that is very special to me. Awesome guy who's friendship has been extremely valuable to me, as I have learned much from him and his willingness to move forward in life, always on the hunt for truth and down-to-earth solutions.

Now, two of those people from EQ2 have recently convinced me to come play World of Warcrack.. craft! Warcraft! Sorry... Anyway, it took me a while, but one morning two weeks ago, I woke up and thought, "I miss those people! I miss spending a chunk of my day with them. I don't want the friendship to fade away, disused and forgotten (as so often happens during life's inexorable journey onward). That morning, I jumped out of bed with a single purpose: to reconnect with old friends. WoW is just the vehicle making this possible, the means to an end. It's the people in it which matter the most.

Today, those friends did the sweetest thing for me. While it dealt with the game, on the surface at least, it carried into real life in a very... well... real way. They didn't have to do what they did, but they did it anyway, and it brightened my whole day. Their generosity was not that of "pretend" friends, but of a real ones.

Well, I already knew the truth... that "pretend" is just a code word for imba.

And so, I just want to pay tribute to all you pretend virtual cyber peeps out there.

/hug
/dance

Darwin's "Origin of Species," with a new 50 page introduction by Ray Comfort

2009-09-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

Ray Comfort. You know.. The Way of the Master and The Atheist's Nightmare Banana Man...

He's a Nightmare alright. I read on Pharyngula tonight, in a blog entitled Foil the Depraved Designs of a Dastardly Duo that Mr. Comfort has altered The Origin of Species by adding a 50-page introduction, full of half-truths and pseudo-science.

Here's a video of his little helper, Kirk Cameron, explaining their brilliant plan to once and for all spread the ugly "truth" about evolution. They will deploy their stink bombs on November 19th, 2009, to 50 college campuses.

Over on Dawkins.net, they suggest a way to fight against the spread of misinformation. Dawkins.net suggests:

We can amass as many of these books as possible, remove the 50 page intro, and then donate perfectly good copies of 'Origin of Species' to schools, libraries, and Goodwill. We can actually make this into something positive.

If you engage in this activity, just do the Earth a favor and recycle the torn out pages. :)

Ok... in all honesty, though, I don't truly recommend the destruction of books (although a few weeded out copies here and there won't hurt too much?). Comfort and Cameron have a right to be heard no matter how ridiculous the message they are trying to spread.

Knowing that this stuff is out there is part of the battle. The rest is up to you.

Yearning

2009-08-29T20:08:00.001-07:00

Hot dogs. I stopped eating hot dogs a couple years ago when I began avoiding processed foods in favor of homemade and natural. Then earlier this week, as I was on a walk, I smelled hot dogs cooking on a grill. This being summer, I couldn't resist and went out and bought a package. Tonight, we are having them again (they are natural, if that makes it any better!).

And we're roasting S'mores afterward.

I was wondering why hot dogs twice in one week, and the only thing I can think of is memories. Memories of a simpler time. Of innocence and joy, with not a care in the world.

That's not to say as a child I had it super easy (nor is that to say I had it harder than most... I didn't; these things are naturally relative to our own experiences), but there was a large part of my life spent in pure happiness.

Camping is one thing which comes immediately to mind.

My grandparents would take me for two weeks every summer, from the time I was a toddler til I was 14 (I never understood why they stopped taking me that year. It was the one thing I looked forward to without fail every summer... anyway...). We would spend the days eating, swimming, boating, taking walks and sitting around the fire. But mostly we would simply enjoying the fresh air, nature, quiet, and each others' company. I have never been so at peace as I was those two weeks of every summer.

I miss it with every fiber of my being. Not just the camping (which is something we have not done with our kids in ten years), but the peace. The kind of peace that sinks into your very "soul"... where the world is a good place, where everything is in harmony.

It's been a long time since I've been there and I yearn for it.

Every generation has its own problems, but I really feel that our existence stands upon the edge of a knife. During no other time in the history of humanity have so many things been headed down the wrong path. I wish I could be that little girl again, walking with her grandfather on a wooded path, with nothing more pressing on her mind than whether she wanted to go swimming tomorrow or just sit under the trees and watch for chipmunks and blue jays.

A friend forwarded a movie preview to me today, and this line seemed to fit this blog perfectly: Everyday we see something that we grew up with our youth and is lost."

Check!

2009-08-25T01:23:00.000-07:00

I am such a chicken.

Everyone who knows me sooner or later learns, either directly or indirectly, that I'm an atheist. I've had a wide range of reactions... from people not really believing it because I'm "so nice," to people not caring and being totally cool with it, to being told they are atheist too (that's always interesting!), to losing a "friendship". Yet I rarely discuss the fact, nor do I often reference it directly or joke about it.

I was once rather outspoken, but time, age and experience have mellowed me.

Part of my close-lipped stance is out of respect for others. There is somehow a connection between being a vocal atheist and disrespecting others' beliefs. Like Dawkins, I think that religious belief has been afforded a kind of bubble of protection that doesn't apply to any other type of belief in the world, often to the detriment (and sometimes death, most especially in other countries) of unbelievers. I remain quiet because, as unjustified and dangerous as the bubble is/can be, I know the bubble is there and I respect that people don't wish it to pop.

And, part is out of fear. I have no wish to alienate myself, nor to cause misunderstandings. After all, like most other people on this planet, I was raised in a society which believes that atheists are lacking a certain something, be it hope, purpose, morality, or all the above and then some. Therefore, even though I know better (by being an atheist myself, by being married to an atheist, and by having raised one son who defines himself as such), I still get caught in the trap.

I feel that, with all of the preconceptions of what an atheist is, I will be seen in an unfavorable light if I speak occasionally about who I am and (more to the point), why I am who I am.

So, when I, for example, watch a really good video on YouTube about atheism, one that is so totally awesome that I can't help but shout at the computer "Yes! YES!"...well, I really feel like sharing but rarely do. It's nice when someone else out there gets it and, therefore, gets me; it makes me want to share with friends who might also enjoy a moment of "being gotten," and with those who might enjoy a clearer understanding of who I am and why. I suppose I must be brave enough to accept that whatever is learned about me might not be to some tastes.

So, after that lengthy explanation as to why I never post things about atheists/atheism.. but why I am about to anyway...

Presenting TheoreticalBullshit's God's Checklist.*

*I am one of TB's subscribers, and his video was on the main page last night before I went to bed, so I checked it out. Watched it three times. I must note that I do not, of course, think that this god TB speaks of even exists.. that it is not anger at nor rebellion against this god for his seeming inconsistencies, contradictions, and cruelties in the face of his supposed love for and benevolence toward his children that motivates me to "reject" him. Rather, these very inconsistencies and divine mood swings are simply a drop in the bucket of Why I Don't Think Any of it is Real in the First Place.

I know... big name. It's a really big bucket.

Without sinking too far into the void...

2009-08-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

Without sinking too far into the Void (the Void being that dark, scary place that is made up of a mix of public opinion, paranoia, and the too-infrequent spark of rational thought), I have been trying to understand the reasons against health care reform and I just... don't.. understand.

I think what confuses me the most is the fear. What are people afraid of, really? Why is there not the same terror over things that actually might kill them, en masse... things like water shortages, food shortages, and a horde of other catastrophic results of the changing climate?

I'm all for dissent, but where was the dissent and outrage when we were about to embark on a war which some of us, even back then, said was ill-conceived? Sure, there were protests, but not this level of outrage and, might I suggest, media support for the opposition. Liberal media bias indeed.

Speaking of terror and fear.. why does it not exist over the future terrorists and America-haters that were created in Iraq, Afghanistan.. and other places surely to come?

No.. the thing we are afraid of most is...

heath care reform and a public option?

Seriously?

I just don't understand it.

The word "socialism" is tossed around with scorn and horror, whilst people happily drive along on their state-funded roads and send their kids to state-funded schools with state-mandated curricula, while their parents and grandparents enjoy the benefits of Social Security and Medicare, while their country is defended by soldiers who, along with their spouses, have their health care provided by taxes... for life.

Help me to understand the cognitive disconnect, please. I would like to know, I really would. I just can't stomach anymore Fux News style spin on this issue.

To illustrate the fear, aside from the obvious "death panels," silliness started by Palin, Bishop Harry Jackson suggests that in a universal health care scenario, he would not have survived his bout with cancer.

What?

It sounds as though he is suggesting that people in countries with government-run health care (England and Canada come to mind) are doomed to die of cancer should they be so unfortunate to become ill with it. Conversely, one could infer that he suggests that no one in this country, with our current health care system, has ever died of cancer.

But we all know, or should at least, that neither is true.

So, please.. I beg you tell me... what are people so afraid of???

Community.. all warm and fuzzy

2009-08-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, I wrote a blog entitled Where's the Connection Out There? in which I discussed the lack of community, of positive contact with fellow humans "out there."

One of my theories for our lack of connection is that we are nameless and faceless, which leads to my son's theory. He believes that we humans were never meant to live in such large "communities;" that, like our fellow apes, we are meant to live in pods large enough to protect one another and ensure genetic variation, but small enough to know one another.

I think he's on to something, certainly.

Today I went to the Farmer's Market at the mall. I've been longing to go to it since it began a month ago, but for reasons which I will explain shortly, it hadn't happened.

It's at 8:00 in the morning. On a Sunday. Yeah. Not being a morning person, I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed for this thing. But I had hopes that the market would be calm, peaceful, and not crowded like the one on Thursdays.

I rarely go to the one on Thursdays because there are so many people there, and most in a frenzy to get their produce. It's astonishing, really, how excited people get over an apple and a head of lettuce. People are in such a rush, and are in full Defense Mode, wary of anyone stealing their place in line or getting the better ear of corn. No thanks! That's way too much stress for me, so I avoid it if I can.

Today, I pull into the parking lot, and... ahhhh. Only a few cars. I get out, and am able to walk in a straight line, not having to veer to the side to avoid walking into anyone.

I chatted with a man selling tea, who gave me a nice sample. I bought some, chatted some more, and moved on.

The egg man was there. Love fresh eggs, so I went to his stall. As I made my purchase, he and I talked about reusing egg cartons (I have a huge stack I've been saving for him), about how far he had to travel to the market, and about how he hoped that a few more people would show up to this event so that it would be worth his while. I said I hoped that business would pick up a bit, but that I really loved the calm atmosphere. I wished him luck and moved on to the main reason I was there.

Fruit!

Peaches. Pluots. Plums. Nectarines. Grapes. Oh yeah. I love this vendor from Thursdays. (Unfortunately I can't provide a link since I don't know what farm they are from and I can't find them on the vendor list. But they are there every week. See video below.)

I and two other customers stood there and chatted and laughed with the vendor, snacking on slices of pluots and peaches. It was awesome. It was delicious.

It was that connection for which I yearn.

No crowds. No pushing and shoving. No fighting for space or resources. It seemed like excellent proof that my son has it right, at least partly. We were meant to have face to face contact in small numbers.. not this nameless, faceless, angry, defensive type of contact to which we have become so accustomed.

I hope that business there picks up just enough to keep it going, but stays small and friendly. Such a pleasant experience. :)

Dare to (day)Dream

2009-08-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

Sitting in my favorite eatery/coffee shop in Sand City today, I noticed a girl sitting with her dad, she on a pink kid's laptop, he on a grown up gray monotone one. She looked maybe 4 or 5. Homeschooled, perhaps, or just a preschooler. Hard to tell.

Anyway, she was adorable, working hard at something on her cute pink laptop.

After perhaps 20 minutes, she got up quietly, unzipped a similarly colored laptop case, into which she quietly put her laptop. Even zipped the bag back up. I was impressed at someone so young being so independent and thorough.

When she was done, she sat back down with her bottle of root beer, and looked around. I noticed her looking at me quite a bit, which I returned a few times with smiles. Meanwhile my two boys and I talked and joked and laughed and ate our pastries. I didn't fail to notice, however, that this little girl was very quiet and calm, rather content to just sit and observe the world around her, lost in her own thoughts.

Then, her dad noticed she'd stopped working on her laptop. He said something to the effect of, "You've decided to waste time?"

He then continued to harp and nag every minute or so, each time getting more frustrated at her "wasting time", at one point suggesting that her wasting time was in fact wasting his, and that next time he would leave her home.

Throughout, the girl sat holding her root beer, not saying a word, nor looking defiant or bored.

Eventually, he got into her bag, took out a math book, and had her do a page.

I must admit, I was rather annoyed on her behalf, and decided that when I had the chance today, I would blog about it (of course).

Even though my readership is 3, perhaps 4 people-strong, I am going to send a plea out into the void, on behalf of all my fellow daydreamers:

Parents and educators, please recognize the immense value in daydreams, in quiet contemplation, in stillness, in peaceful solitude, in "wasting" time. In my most humble (or at least humbly offered) opinion, these things are just as important to a child's education and upbringing as is learning the 3R's. In this always-connected, high-speed world, the skill of and value in solitude and just being have become a lost art, much to our loss as a society and as individuals. Newton spent nearly his whole life in solitude. Buddha, much of his time in quiet contemplation.

Where will our inventors and spiritual leaders be? Will they go unnoticed, their talents underdeveloped? I think so, especially considering that a good number of those children who veer off task are medicated to keep them focused.

We lose a great opportunity for invention and problem solving when we are made to view daydreaming and stillness as a waste of time, to say nothing about the loss of our ability to nurture our spiritual and emotional selves. So, dare to let them daydream. While they're at it, put up your feet and give it a try as well!

Why Wait?

2009-08-10T22:45:00.000-07:00

The husband and I had a conversation last week about the environment, changes that need to be made, and the uncertainty of the future for all living creatures on this planet. He'd mentioned that we need to demand that the government does what's right.

While I agree that we should demand from our leaders that which will benefit us all and not just a handful of the wealthy and powerful, I also think that, as with health care, we must exercise control over ourselves.

You must be the change you want to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi

No one is forcing us to leave lights on, or to leave computers on, or to run water while washing dishes or brushing teeth, or to use a dryer, or to eat irresponsibly raised food, or to eat food products, or not buy locally, or not buy organic, or to drive large vehicles, or to drive at all, or to run the AC to arctic temperatures, or to run the heat rather than don a sweater, or to feed wants rather than needs, or to not switch to solar power, or to not reuse, reduce, and recycle, or to not build our homes eco-friendly, or.... (and on and on and on).

"They" are not forcing these products and habits and addictions on us. When we stop buying what they are pushing, we send a message loud and clear, to our government, to big business, and to the world. Perhaps when we demand that our government make regulations to protect us, or ask that big business starts thinking not just in terms of short-term profits but long-term sustainability, we must already be diligently working on quitting those habits which got us into this mess in the first place.

Where's The Connection "Out There"?

2009-01-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

I walk out my door and breath the air. The birds are singing, the air is crisp, the sky is clear and blue, the trees are whispering their secrets in a breeze so slight I can barely feel it. I feel wonderful and alive.

I get in my car, turn on some music and begin the drive down my driveway (really an alley behind a row of houses). As I approach the street, a woman walking her dog begins to cross the entrance to the driveway. I stop and watch. Is she going to look up? Is she going to acknowledge another human being just a few feet away? 50/50 shot really. I wait.

Finally, as she nears the other side, though the eyes do not lift, a hand comes up in the "thanks for not running me over" gesture.

At least assured that she knew the car wasn't on 100% autopilot, I drive onto the street, heading out of my little housing area onto the main road. It's a little "T" intersection, and I intend to turn left. I look both ways and notice a car approaching from my left. No turn signal and he is hauling ass. Must be going straight. Hope he's going straight!

He begins to veer toward me and I have this moment of panic: holy shit, is he going to make the turn or sideswipe me, turning my little jaunt into town into something rather messy?? I brace for impact, not that it will help.

Finally, at the last moment, he whips around the corner, making the turn and missing the side of my car. My heart racing, I take another look onto the road and make my turn, wishing all the while that the unknown driver had at least taken my safety into consideration while he was being so reckless with his own.

A few traffic lights and turn signals later, I am on another main drag. The speed limit on this road is 35. I am such a rebel, I am going 37! I look in the rear view mirror and notice an SUV bearing down on me quickly. This feels oddly familiar!

She (because 90% of SUV's are driven by "she's"*) comes within inches of my rear bumper and stays there. I can practically taste her impatience, but I am not moving out of her way. I am following the speed limit.. exceeding it by a small amount in fact. I am not going to cower before her threatening size and rudeness.

Finally, doing a wonderful impression of a compact car, she whips into the next lane and zooms past me, refusing to look at me, her HUGE sunglasses blocking all but the haughty sneer on her lips.

When I get to the next light, which is red, she is there. I can't help but chuckle. What did her impatience get her? Didn't get her very far. I bet she's blaming the few seconds she was stuck behind me as the reason she didn't "beat" the light.

I look at the car in front of me and notice a bumper sticker which reads, "I may be a cruel and heartless bitch, but I'm damn good at it!"

My good mood from just five minutes ago is slipping away.

I get on the highway. At one point, a U-Haul to my left is clearly intent on getting into my lane. Problem is, at 70 mph, if he tries, we're going to be in a world of hurt. I honk twice to get him to stop his merge. He pulls back into his lane, at which point I back off, giving him enough room to merge in front of me. He does.

He later proceeds off the highway. I look to my right at his exiting vehicle, and see something that doesn't compute:

He's flipping me off. Not only is he flipping me off, but he's holding the gesture for the entire trip down the long off-ramp.**

/confused??

Several miles pass. I get to the store. I park.

I sit and collect myself.

I begin walking across the parking lot, and as I cross right in front of the store entrance, a road which has several pedestrians waiting to cross or in varying stages of crossing, a woman in a Prius speeds up to "beat" the pedestrians. I was already halfway across the road.

Having had enough, I move so that she'll have to hit me if she wants to zoom through. I put out my arm, point my finger, and say, "No ma'am...you are going to stop."

She does. Slams on her brakes, in fact. I can see her mouth make the words. "Fuck you." I note, with great interest, that she refuses to make eye contact. ***

I grab a cart and head into the store, wanting this to be if not a good experience at least a neutral one. Is it enough to hope that, even though the experience I just had was probably either perpetrated or experienced by every other person in that store in some way, that they remained untainted by it? That, face-to-face with other human beings, they will remember who they are and what we all have in common?

While in the vegetable section, my cart pushed as far to the side as possible as to not impede others, I peruse the lettuce. I can see someone is looking at the same, and I back up a bit so they can reach, looking at them and smiling. They move in, grab the lettuce, and walk off.

/sigh

I then notice that my 9 year old, who is getting some apples at my request, is blocking the aisle. He can't help it, as the aisles in this store are very cramped. A middle-aged woman is looking at him with disgust.. trying to telepathically order him out of her way, apparently, because her down turned mouth refused to say those two little magic words.

My son noticed, and promptly moved out of her way, looking guilty and some other unnamed emotion that I hate seeing on his face. She pushed her cart past. Not a look. Not a word.

When, at some point in our shopping, we chanced to find ourselves near her again, I told my son, "From now on, if someone wants by and they won't say excuse me, just pretend they are not there. You should always say excuse me though, ok?"

I want him to be polite. I don't however, believe in being a doormat just to placate others' sense of self.

On the way home I decided to go through the Starbuck's drive-thru. I order for everyone in the car, I pull around. I pay. A truck pulls in behind me. I wait for my drinks. I feel a bump.

Thinking someone must have bumped into the truck behind me, bumping him into me, I look. There is no one behind him. Confused, I look at my 16 yr old son, who says, "He did it on purpose."

No way. Then...

BUMP again.

I turn around in my seat, and the man behind the wheel puts up his hands, chuckles, and mouths sorry.

Apparently, the process was moving a bit too slowly for him and wanted to move things along.****

By the time I get home, well before I get home actually, I am so thoroughly depressed. I feel like a dog who, upon seeing another dog, begins to wag and yip and call out, "Hey! Hey!! You are another me! Hey, everyone! Do you see that over there? It's another ME! Whooohooo!! Hello me!!" only to be ignored, rebuffed, or even attacked.

Eventually, when the dog sees another dog, another him, he doesn't whoop and dance about in joy. He gives a tentative wag of the tail, still willing to try to make contact but expecting rejection.

Why? Why are people so.. angry? Cold? Impatient? Rude? I have friends. we love each other, we laugh, we share. So why is it so different "out there"?

My 16 year old has a theory. He says, "We are 'meant' to live in groups of 20, 40, 100. Not thousands or millions."

I think he may have a point. I also think that our culture of the automobile has changed the way we view each other. A great majority of the people we come into contact with every day are nameless and faceless, made worse by expression-hiding contraptions like tinted windows and the huge sunglasses. We vie for space. We fight for our rights. When at last we come face to face, we have no compassion. No love. No commonality beyond distrust and a lack of caring.

Does this make anyone else soul-crushingly sad?

.

* Not an actual scientific fact.
**An actual event.. and it still confuses me.
***While all of these are based on real events that transpire on any given day out, this one happened in the Whole Foods parking lot, two days before Thanksgiving, and the pedestrians consisted of a few random people plus myself, my two kids and my 83 year old grandmother.
****Again, a true event. I regret not getting out of my car and confronting him but I was so stunned....

.

The Best an MMO has to Offer. Norrathian Edition. Part II

2008-07-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

This is a reprint from my MMO blog on guildportal.com.

In Part I, I told a story of Iari. It was my way of detailing what I loved in that game. EQ2 however, will be described with a list of what makes it stand out in the MMO world.

During the Christmas of 2004, I took what I thought would be a small break from Star Wars Galaxies. Many of my friends were no longer playing, which wasn't a big deal since I soloed mostly anyway. But their absence spoke of greater problems with the game.

In the new year, I bought EverQuest II on a whim. I installed it and entered the world and was blown away, quite in the same way I'd been blown away when I first entered Star Wars Galaxies a year and a half before. The first time, it was all "new" for me, and I was amazed that the game and everything in it was even possible.

With EQ2 my amazement was from a more "experienced" perspective. There were things I'd come to accept and expect from an MMO, and EQ2 met and exceeded my expectations in many ways. I'll list a few of them.

*Player characters and npc's looking at each other, whether it be to the side, up or down. Excellent touch of realism.

*Voices. No, not the ones in my head.. npc voices (and later player character voices).

*Relatively good character and npc animation, like pointing, motions made during battle, walking and running (not so much for the females, but the run for them has definitely improved).

*Character creation. This is a big one. Slider bars rather than pre-selected faces. Slider bars that do not go to an extreme like in Vanguard.

*While I think they are ugly as hell, I appreciate the idea behind SOGA, or the alternative models.

*Crafting. EQ2 has had many forms of crafting and they have all had merit, even back in the day of interdependency (community).

All of these things and more that I won't mention here boil down to the one thing that sets EQ2 apart from all other games past and present: realism. Sure, sometimes EQ2 takes its commitment to realism too far, as is the case with its drab armor models. But the realism for the most part lends itself to one of the things necessary for keeping people playing (aside from community, risk and reward, and an escape from real life): immersion.

The graphics potential in EQ2 is immense, and the better the graphics, the more realistic the game, the more immersive the experience. That is what, in my opinion, sets EQ2 apart from every other game on the market.

In Part III, I will attempt to combine my favorite elements from SWG and EQ2 into a recipe for the Perfect (imho) MMORPG

The Best an MMO has to Offer. Galactic Edition. Part I

2008-07-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

This is a reprint from my MMO blog on guildportal.com

In this Part I of what I think a game should have in order to be a success, I will take a trip down memory lane to another world.

My life as a gamer began in 2003, when I was able to enter a world I had admired nearly my entire life. The following recounts "actual" events that took place in that game, told from a roleplay perspective.

Iari, the human, hailed from the small town of Keren on the planet of Naboo. She was a dancer; it was all she knew. She was very shy and not well suited to life on the stage, but she was even less suited to life as a fighter and felt that the cantinas were the safest place for her.

In time she braved the wilds of Naboo and found herself in the capital, Theed. There she met Icoup, the Mon Calamari talent scout. She soon joined his guild of other dancers and musicians: Entertainers United.

They hosted many parties for the growing towns near Theed. Outside of the main hall, party-goers could enjoy brawling, pet fights, and fireworks displays. Inside, they could be soothed by the guild's finest dancers and Nagalorn players while enjoying the refreshments of the bartender.

While working in the Theed cantina, Iari listened to the many tales of adventure told by her customers. As a Rebel in the Galactic War, she kept her opinions to herself, aiding the rebellion from time to time by secretly delivering information to rebel agents. However, these stories eventually began to make Iari yearn for something more than the confines of dancing halls. It was then that she began her training as a Rifleman.

She continued to dance. And she continued to pass information to the Rebels. Her training with rifles was slow but steady. She was pleased to find that others who were also learning the ways of the Rifleman could give her the training she required.

One night, as she entered the Cantina, she stumbled upon a fight between a Rebel and an Imperial soldier. The Rebel asked for help, and she could not resist. Not giving the danger to herself a thought, she reached down and helped him to stand.

The Imperial cursed at her, enraged. Before she could draw her weapon, Iari was on the ground, unconscious. The other dancers and entertainers gasped in shock, but none of them helped Iari. They understood the price of openly aiding a Rebel.

When she regained consciousness, she and the Imperial had a private, and very heated discussion. Neither of them would have believed what would come of that discussion. Though Iari was gentle and kind, she knew that living on Naboo as a Rebel was dangerous. As she could not leave the home she loved, Iari renounced her loyalty to the Rebellion, and became a member of the Imperial Army. She and the Imperial soldier remained friends long after, and she was an Imperial for the rest of her days.

She was making progress as a Rifleman and was close to mastering her profession. She still ran delivery missions, only this time for the Imperials. On such a mission, she found herself in Moenia, a gloomy town in the swampy southern hemisphere of Naboo. Moenia was very close to the Imperial stronghold where it was rumored the Emperor was in residence.

It was during one of these missions that she came upon a wookie creature handler. He had many creatures with him, all obeying his commands. She inquired as to how he acquired these creatures. He taught her many things about his life as a creature handler. On that day, Iari began training in Creature Handling while continuing her training in Rifles.

She spent less and less time in the cantinas now. She spent most of her days in the wild, finding and taming baby creatures. Iari's goal was to capture an elusive Narglatch cub.

Finally she found her Narglatch. She named him Zephyr, and trained him from cub to ferocious beast. He proved to be her most loyal protector. Iari was rarely seen without Zephyr by her side.

It was during her last visit to the cantina as a dancer that she met a woman who would change her life's path. The woman was shrouded in mystique. Iari could feel her calm and power from across the room. At first, she thought the woman was of the Jedi Order. But it was known to be a dead religion, with its members scattered across the galaxy, the order having been destroyed during the Clone Wars.

After watching the woman for a time, Iari gathered the courage to approach her. The woman explained that she was a Teras Kasi Master. Iari asked what Teras Kasi was, and the woman informed her it was a way of fighting. She would not say much more than that, however. Iari felt compelled to investigate elsewhere.

She found a trainer in brawling who informed her that Teras Kasi trainers would not consider anyone a potential candidate who had no experience in close range fighting. He encouraged Iari to study under him, and she gladly accepted.

She never danced on a stage again.

The next day she took Zephyr to Yavin. They spent the day hunting various creatures and the occasional rebel. She met a few Imperials who were being attacked and she and her cat gladly aided them before running off through the jungle. The cat no doubt could sense Iari's excitement at the new life she was embarking on. In order to become a Teras Kasi, she would have to give up her training as a Rifleman, and would no longer be able to use her weapon.

Through many days and months Iari trained in the arts of brawling and later Teras Kasi. While studying her new combat arts, she continued her Creature Handling. She met a Twi'lek named Ta, a fellow creature handler not as far in his training as she. She taught him how to name his creatures.

Iari's devotion to her studies proved successful, as she gained more and more abilities. Her proudest moment as a Teras Kasi artist was when her trainer gave her the secrets to healing mind and body through meditation.

She had many favorite mediation spots throughout the land. She discovered many places that seemed to have a history, places just begging to be explored and enjoyed.

While exploring the dangerous area near the Maulers Stronghold, she came across a shocking sight: a Jedi! She knew that this man had trained hard, for it was not an easy path to choose. He was one of perhaps only a few jedi in the entire galaxy. Though she was an Imperial and knew the Jedi to be enemies of the Empire, he asked her to not reveal his presence to anyone. It was as though the bounty hunters could smell the ignition of his lightsaber, he'd said, and he was being hunted by them day and night. Iari respected his hard work and bravery, and agreed to keep his secret.

Her first guild of entertainers disbanded when its leader vanished. A few people tried to breathe new life into the guild, and for a time it worked. It was first disbanded and taken over by Taya, who was later encouraged to relinquish her control by Bowdon and the council. Bowdon took over the guild, and Taya remained the elected mayor of Caserta.

During its prime, the city of Caserta flourished as one of the only towns in the galaxy that welcomed both Imperials and Rebel sympathizers. The city had many crafters as well, and its builders helped to construct municipal buildings such a shuttle, city hall, guild hall, hospital and cloning facility, banks, fountains and parks, and mission terminals. The city also had a large militia, of which Iari was a member.

People could often be seen there, resting after a day of adventuring, enjoying each others' company.

Of course the members of the town, and all of Naboo, were sometimes called upon to protect the palace. Across political and city borders, the people of Naboo would answer that call, for no gain other than the pride of defeating a common enemy. And perhaps for a nice new title.

Eventually, political strife tore apart Iari's home of Caserta. The leadership split, new leaders took over, and the town became dominated by Rebels. Iari and her friends Ta and Merthos fled to Dantooine. There they formed an Imperial guild, and founded a new town near the Imperial Outpost. They called it River's End.

The town enjoyed a brief period of prosperity, but the winds of change were fast approaching for all in the galaxy. Strange rumors were being whispered.

Among the rumors: The Order of the Teras Kasi was to be outlawed. By that time, Iari had reached the level of Master, and was as deeply committed to it as she had been when she'd first agreed to begin her training. Equally disturbing was the rumor that creature handling would be outlawed as well.

By this time many of her friends had begun disappearing, seeking new worlds. She spent many days in the wilds of Dantooine with her faithful cat and her newest pet, her beloved Hamadryad, or "Hamy".

One night she went to the hill overlooking her town. She looked out over a beautiful Dantooine sunset as she contemplated how much her world had changed in such a short time.

Not long after that night, the Order of the Teras Kasi disbanded, and Creature Handlers lost the ability to train and fight alongside their pets. Iari was never seen again.

Coming Soon: The best a Game has to Offer Part II, Norrathian Edition

Everyone Line up!

2008-07-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

We are the line up,
The line up crew.
Line up! Line up!

Everyone line up.
You know what to do.
Line up! Line up!

Put your hands at your sides.
Stand up straight.
Put a smile on your face.
You're doing great!

Line up, line up.
Line up, line up!

Ron Brown

My child attends a youth center, or what amounts to an after school care program. He attends for purely social reasons. Each day, we meet his publicly schooled friends, who have been escorted from school by a few members of the youth center staff to the front entrance of the center. The kids are told to line up outside the door. They must form a neat, straight, quiet, still line before they are granted entry into the building.

They are, naturally, totally jazzed about not being stuffed into their tiny classrooms, where they have spent the last six hours at a desk, not allowed to stand, bounce, jump, talk, laugh, play, or work on their own talents and interests. Now, faced with a few hours of fun before their parents pick them up, they are made to stand in line.

Often, we will arrive late enough that all the kids are inside and unburdening themselves of their backpacks, thereby missing out on the lining-up hoopla. Sometimes, we arrive in time to experience the ritual, as I think it is quite the educational experience (and dinner conversation piece) for my son.

Sometimes it takes a good five minutes before they are lined up good enough to go inside.

Am I the only one that sees something inherently wrong with this?

I never was struck by the absurdity of making kids line up until my youngest began attending the youth center. As I watched the kids being made to stand perfectly still, against their natures... it occurred to me that it's no wonder our society is a screwed up as it is. I mean, seriously, lining kids up like cattle, or robots?

How would you like it if, every morning, your boss made you line up outside the office while he (or, she) stood at the front of the line demanding compliance before you could go inside? Or, how about this one: you must beg for the opportunity during the workday to use the toilet. If one of your peers recently used it, your request will be denied because.. well.. we can't have everyone running off to the restroom! Or, how about: a coworker shows up late for work, and so you are all made to stay an hour after quitting time?

Sounds perfectly reasonable, yes?

Why do we treat kids as though they are less than us? They are smaller, and perhaps less developed emotionally and physically, but they are still just as human. It's ridiculous how we treat them, how we dominate them.. and sometimes, how we seem to derive some kind of twisted pleasure making them bend to our wills.

Just another of the reasons why I homeschool.

Humane, Global, and Farseeing

2008-07-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) began as an annual conference where the brightest and most innovative of our species could gather together and share ideas.

On the TED website, one can find numerous videos from the conferences, as well as blogs and other information. If you have never visited the site, I urge you to do so. There is something there for anyone.

I found a few videos of interest this morning. One is of the atronomer Martin Rees, as he discusses the next 100 years on Earth.

The other is of my favorite biologist (doesn't everybody have one of those?), Richard Dawkins, as he discusses "militant" atheism.

Here is another from my favorite cookbook author, Mark Bittman. Two of his cookbooks, How to Cook Everything and How to Cook Everything Vegetarian are literally falling apart, I've used (and abused!) them so often. I disagree, of course, with his assertion that the term "locavore" and the movement that goes along with it is elitist. But hey, his opinion is his own :) What I love about him is that he believes, first and foremost, that good food is real food.

Other themes include:

A Greener Future
What's Next in Tech
Bold Predictions, Stern Warnings
What Makes Us Happy

and dozens of others. Check it out! :)

Refreshing and Inspiring

2008-07-27T23:27:00.000-07:00

It's not often that I'm inspired by the words of a preacher. But this man's words literally gave me chills. John Shelby Spong gave me hope that even an Episcopalian minister, whose job it is to preach a Christian doctrine, can see past the smoke and mirrors to a possible enlightened truth.

I have often been told that I should be afraid. That through my failure to accept Christ, I will suffer forever. That God, though He loves me, is bound to his promises and will have no choice but to cast me to Satan, who will torture me for an eternity for the horrible crime of skepticism.

Try as I might, though, I just can't reach a level of fright large enough to make me believe in something in which I do not. I can't even muster up mild trepidation.

I see hell much as this minister does; that even if a god does exist, hell, heaven, and all the fancy trappings of religion, are man made, used to manipulate our natural tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

To quote John Shelby Spong:

"God is not a Christian...All of those are human systems which human beings have created to try to help us walk into the mystery of God."

"The function of the Christ is not to rescue the sinners, but to empower you and to call you to be more deeply and fully human than you've ever realized there was the potential within you to be."

Beautiful.

New to This Here Blogger.com

2008-07-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

Doesn't everyone do these things? These blogs that don't really say much other than, "Hi. I'm new here. Just trying it all out!"

Well.. hi. I'm new here. Just trying it all out!

I come from the Land of Myspace, which is intended to be a teenage social tool rather than a mid-thirty something's blog space. I love myspace , don't misunderstand me. It's a wonderful way for incurable lazies like myself to keep in touch with multiple people all at once. Back when news had to travel by way of paper and stamps, I lost contact with so many people. Not so with myspace. Now, with the simple push of a bulletin button, ten different people from around the world (social butterfly I am not) know instantly what fabulously exciting things I've been up to, like what color underwear I have on, what I ate for breakfast, or the identity of my current crush.

I love it.

But this place... ahhh! A place just for blogging! Where has it been all my life?

As you can see from the picture of me (/points to the top of the page), I am seemingly confused. Aren't most of us? (Except for those who voted for Bush the second time around, who are actually and truly confused. Kidding kidding! Sort of... ) Most of us do not fit into neat little boxes of liberal, conservative, hippie, redneck, pro-this, pro-that, etc. Most of us are a mix of various viewpoints.

The media, and those who control the media, do not wish us to know this. At least, that is the impression that I get. They appear to do everything in their power to prevent us from knowing this: there is a mix of viewpoints which resides within most people, giving the majority of us a common ground from which we can prosper together, even across political, age, gender, and religious divides.

Sure the country is "divided". How could it not be when we are inundated with red states and blue states. Democrat and Republican. Believer and non-believer. But, that is just on the surface. If we could look deeper, we could see we are not so shallow as that.

There are nuts and fanatics, of course. People who attack doctors who perform abortions and women who use abortions like the latest birth control method. Those who use religion as a sign of superiority and a method for social control, and those who "don't believe in god" because they are in rebellion against their parents, society, conformity, or who use atheism as a sign of superiority. There are those who think the solution to the crisis in the middle east is to blow the entire region off the face of the earth, and those who think that soldiers are rapers, pillagers and baby-killers. There are the patrionuts who chant that the US of A is the end-all and be-all of civilization, and the down-with-the-USAtards who can't see any good in this country no matter how hard they try (they don't try very hard).

But most of us, I know, are much more moderate than that. We may disagree on topics of great importance (as well as those of trifling silliness), but compromise is within our grasp.. if we would only try. I really hope we do, and soon. I fear the consequences for us, and the world, should we fail to do so.

(It seems I had more to say than just hi. When I say I have just a little to say, don't believe me; it's almost never the truth.)

:)